"You can’t be too small for God to use, but you can be too big."
I’m not sure who to credit the quote to, but lately I can’t get it out of my head. Maybe it just really fits with my somewhat minimalistic lifestyle and outlook and that's why I'm all over it. You know how it goes. Having the holy spirit in you to direct and convict is like the wildest and most wonderful thing though. You hear something or read something and get this feeling of oh—that hits home—or geez—I have been so WRONG or wow--I needed to hear that today. Sometimes it’s so life-changing all I can think about is I HAVE TO SHARE THIS! But if you know me, I’m not a great speaker. Correction, I’m a HORRIBLE speaker. So here we are, word vomit on blog. Before you go any further, read Judges 7, so we are all on the same page here. Oh, I can so relate to Gideon. You too? Here you have a decent army if strong Israelite men, you’ve got God on your side, you’re pretty good-to-go. As you prepare to face a vast Midian camp, you’re a little fearful, a little timid, but honestly, Gideon’s probably like “Yeah, I got this.” And then God says. HA! NOPE! Ya’ll can’t be barging in with a grand army and leveling off opposition like you’re so fantastic and strong and all. Your heads might get too big to fit through your own tent flaps. This is MY battle, and I want YOU to know that I am the one who grants victory. So instead of 32,000 soldiers, the Lord orders loads of guys to head back home to their cozy homes and little families and pares down Gideon’s army to 300. Yeah. I think if I was Gideon I’d be like… ummm…wow…so…ok…are you trying to make me crazy or am I just crazy. Cuz this seems crazy. (I will neither confirm nor deny these have been my exact words to God at times…) You know what is crazy though? These stories of unbelievable odds tend to pop up over and over and over throughout the Bible. God loves to prove his power to his children. He allows reduction to show his greatness. Implications are all over this passage but my main takeaway? He can handle my inadequacy. And in fact, he uses it. He sympathizes with my human condition. Remember vs 9? Just like he knew Gideon was fearful, he knows we are frail and is sensitive to our emotional limitations. That gives me courage. God tests and strengthens our faith. That gives me so much hope in times of loss and seasons of struggle. So often it seems like just when things become impossibly difficult, unbelievably strained, chances are extraordinarily slim, God pulls out all the stops for the most glorious show of his faithfulness and provision. God’s promise is to refine us, no sorrow or pain is wasted in the lives of those he loves. Oh for grace to trust Him more. When I read stories like this and see how patient the Lord was with Gideon (read the previous chapter for this as well) and how faithful he is to ordinary empty-handed people like me, it really stirs up my seasonal allergies. Not only this, but wow. My heart needs help. How many times throughout my day do I trust in my own power, depend on my own strength, and boast in my own success when it is wholly and completely not me?! How many times have I used Gods blessings in my life to impress someone or prove something about myself, when all of it…ALL OF IT is only granted to me by his mercy. Undeserved. We all do it, don’t we?! The Bible is clear, we owe everything--right down to our very breath--to him. Jehovah Jireh. Provider, supplier of all my needs. This gives me great resolve to continue giving and serving even when I feel I don’t have a lot to offer. When life squeezes us, we can trust him like a child. I hope it empowers us to continue to step forward with courageous humility. A life of full surrender and service leaves no room for entitlement and arrogance. "So then neither he who plants is anything, nor he who waters, but God who gives the increase." 1 Corinthians 3:7
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HELLOI'm Lydia. Mom to one wild barefoot fluffy headed toddler, a herd of cows, flock of sheep, a group of too many chickens and a neglected garden that against all odds, survives. Married to a wonderful husband with an equal number of titles and jobs...Dad, bro, (also as in, "bro, get over here gimme a hug") hydro-electric power plant mechanic, volunteer firefighter, fixer of all things with wheels and engines. (Ya, I'm proud of him.) Farm life, family, coffee, and Jesus make my world go round. Archives
August 2023
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