"You can’t be too small for God to use, but you can be too big."
I’m not sure who to credit the quote to, but lately I can’t get it out of my head. Maybe it just really fits with my somewhat minimalistic lifestyle and outlook and that's why I'm all over it. You know how it goes. Having the holy spirit in you to direct and convict is like the wildest and most wonderful thing though. You hear something or read something and get this feeling of oh—that hits home—or geez—I have been so WRONG or wow--I needed to hear that today. Sometimes it’s so life-changing all I can think about is I HAVE TO SHARE THIS! But if you know me, I’m not a great speaker. Correction, I’m a HORRIBLE speaker. So here we are, word vomit on blog. Before you go any further, read Judges 7, so we are all on the same page here. Oh, I can so relate to Gideon. You too? Here you have a decent army if strong Israelite men, you’ve got God on your side, you’re pretty good-to-go. As you prepare to face a vast Midian camp, you’re a little fearful, a little timid, but honestly, Gideon’s probably like “Yeah, I got this.” And then God says. HA! NOPE! Ya’ll can’t be barging in with a grand army and leveling off opposition like you’re so fantastic and strong and all. Your heads might get too big to fit through your own tent flaps. This is MY battle, and I want YOU to know that I am the one who grants victory. So instead of 32,000 soldiers, the Lord orders loads of guys to head back home to their cozy homes and little families and pares down Gideon’s army to 300. Yeah. I think if I was Gideon I’d be like… ummm…wow…so…ok…are you trying to make me crazy or am I just crazy. Cuz this seems crazy. (I will neither confirm nor deny these have been my exact words to God at times…) You know what is crazy though? These stories of unbelievable odds tend to pop up over and over and over throughout the Bible. God loves to prove his power to his children. He allows reduction to show his greatness. Implications are all over this passage but my main takeaway? He can handle my inadequacy. And in fact, he uses it. He sympathizes with my human condition. Remember vs 9? Just like he knew Gideon was fearful, he knows we are frail and is sensitive to our emotional limitations. That gives me courage. God tests and strengthens our faith. That gives me so much hope in times of loss and seasons of struggle. So often it seems like just when things become impossibly difficult, unbelievably strained, chances are extraordinarily slim, God pulls out all the stops for the most glorious show of his faithfulness and provision. God’s promise is to refine us, no sorrow or pain is wasted in the lives of those he loves. Oh for grace to trust Him more. When I read stories like this and see how patient the Lord was with Gideon (read the previous chapter for this as well) and how faithful he is to ordinary empty-handed people like me, it really stirs up my seasonal allergies. Not only this, but wow. My heart needs help. How many times throughout my day do I trust in my own power, depend on my own strength, and boast in my own success when it is wholly and completely not me?! How many times have I used Gods blessings in my life to impress someone or prove something about myself, when all of it…ALL OF IT is only granted to me by his mercy. Undeserved. We all do it, don’t we?! The Bible is clear, we owe everything--right down to our very breath--to him. Jehovah Jireh. Provider, supplier of all my needs. This gives me great resolve to continue giving and serving even when I feel I don’t have a lot to offer. When life squeezes us, we can trust him like a child. I hope it empowers us to continue to step forward with courageous humility. A life of full surrender and service leaves no room for entitlement and arrogance. "So then neither he who plants is anything, nor he who waters, but God who gives the increase." 1 Corinthians 3:7
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In the interest of inclusion and well…business sense…I used to tag a few of my products that are “vegan” as vegan. Accurate, and good marketing, right? This whole marketing thing is a learning curve for me, but I am finding out that regenerative agriculture and veganism are...kinda…at odds with each other. But I wanted to have something for everyone, and I have to say, my eagerness to please can be my major downfall. But even the most disheartening mistake can be good experience, if you grow from it. In conversations with other dear humans (rare, I tell you! lol) I began to wonder…in a rather post-modernistic society, is it becoming a challenge to fully grasp the realities of the harshness of nature? Perhaps progressivism and affluence has allowed us to lose touch with the reality and consequence of sin and death in the natural world. It is just a thought, from just a country girl. And I may be wrong. That we can survive and thrive without farms is to me, unimaginable. But there are a few (mostly of power and affluence) who are actively advocating non meat alternatives as the way of the future. I mean no disrespect, and gosh, I am with the average vegan in that the idea sounds nice. But gathering from the little I know of biology, a society devoid of all animal products is neither sustainable nor healthy for man OR beast. Thanks to a slew of excellent marketing as well as a sprinkling of social influencer endorsement, it’s possible to make just about anything “sound” nice in theory, but when you really wrap your mind around an abandonment of animal products, you will probably, like me, come to the conclusion that it is not an ideal or flawless form of kindness and respect of creatures and creation. Everyone feel free to gasp right now and just get it overwith. ;-) Animal breeding and stewardship is kind. One of the first instructions we were given in Genesis was to oversee all the incredibly designed creatures of the world. Constantly working toward beneficial land management and the most humane and God-honoring biological husbandry is one of our passions, and we have found that you cannot have one without the other. The earth requires animal nourishment in the form of grazing, manure, decomposition, and tillage. Animals need us to help them do it effectively and in a way that honors their natural instincts. Our bodies literally depend on animals to provide us with certain micro nutrients not found in plants to keep us alive and well. And…it is painfully clear that life outside of human oversight is not rosy. For real! It’s a jungle out there! We need animal products to thrive physically. I'm not a nutritionist, so don’t quote me on this, but I am fairly certain that most of us are unable to afford or produce a completely plant-based diet that successfully meets human nutritional requirements. If you have done it, I would love to hear how you did without dying. But if that person is not you, peek at this lovely article with scientific dietary research attached. It delves into the industrialization of non-meat products, which I am inclined to think might be a staple food for the average plant-only eater. It is extremely helpful if you would like to learn more about the nutritional aspect of this topic! Beyond Meat Is Beyond Unhealthy - Ancestral Nutrition (ancestral-nutrition.com) In another interesting line of study, sleeping on animal skins was found to help children avoid asthma and allergies later in life. Imo, this suggests that we are healthier when living amongst animals. Before my daughter was born, I happened upon this article. For that reason, I tanned and sewed together a blanket of rabbit skins for her to sleep up, and she still does today. Maybe its overkill, but no allergies and literally no illness yet. She's like...never sick. (Knock on wood) Sleeping on animal fur is related to asthma outcomes in later childhood (ersjournals.com) Food is a human connection Philosophies which ultimately set us at odds with local growers and farmers who are real human beings with empathy and care for other human beings, and who love their animals and work toward sustainability might not be healthy for emotional wellbeing. Or ok, maybe there are those of you who actually thrive on a superiority complex. You do you, y'all. Just so you know where I'm coming from, I'm not at all talking about avoiding meat or certain foods. I seem to be healthier if I limit certain foods, and I get that everyone has to critique their own diet to fit their lifestyle. My honest friends call me “The Incredible Hulk” because of my uncanny ability to turn protein into ridiculous muscle. I'm not trying to burst all my buttons so I do try to avoid overdoing it. What I am advocating here is that we take a step back from certain legalistic and life-altering ideals that can have damaging results on us. Seriously though. I suffer to dream of anything positive to say about hard-core abandoning animal products and what it does to people spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Do the best you can, with what you have. Farmers are usually brilliant at this, since the situations that confront us on the daily require problem solving with little financial abundance. Maybe revisiting the stories of our WWII veterans and their families might be helpful for us. In those days, we achieved Victory with careful conservation, gardens, and personal sacrifice for the greater good. These people rocked at resilience. A generation of heros. I just wonder, if we refuse wool for clothing and lard for pie, what will we use? Most likely, something rare, processed, or diminishable, like palm oil and plastics. I did this for a time, before I knew what I was doing! Now, I am trying my best to avoid this and am super excited to be partnering with websites who are promoting mindful purchasing like Ecolimpet – Green Goods Clothing made by child slaves might be acceptable. But shearing sheep is cruel? Herein lies our conundrum. Sheep need shearing to survive. Some human beings around the world are being treated worse than most animals in the USA. There may be situations where sheep are not handled properly, and that should be addressed case by case. However, vilifying wool does not solve this problem, it only creates a brand new one. By declaring abandonment of ancestral husbandry, what could happen is that we lessen the demand and therefore value of freaking awesome natural byproducts of life from the creatures we are blessed to love and care for. The Future of Farms I think the vegan mindset could discourage and diminish interest in farming and self-sufficiency, which seems like an all-around bad idea. With 60% of our country’s farmers over age 55, things are already beginning to look a lot different for agriculture in the USA. We are at a pivotal time in agricultural history, and we must invest in building up a new generation of ethical producers using our purchasing power and educational skills. I must hand it to my local conservation district for doing just that...and this is why I joined their board a number of years ago. Their website is a fantastic resource for help and inspiration! Lewis Conservation District – Providing conservation service to and for our people (wordpress.com) Also, here’s an interesting article from 2019 about the shift in size and scale of usa farms according to the USDA census from 2017 2017Census_Farm_Producers.pdf (usda.gov) Animals depend on our involvement to be at their best. Ok, so there are some issues associated with commercial ag, most of us are aware. There are farms here and there who are legit failing us, “raping the land” as my husband graphically puts it. On the flipside, many are waking up to the fact that the quick fixes and solutions we have come up with to produce enough consumables for this country and others may have indeed set us back a bit. To add to that, you have a handful of massive, shady, control-seeking corporations pumping out environmentally damaging chemicals and buying up farmland, while we watch mid-size family farms go bankrupt and disappear. These “bad actors” only compound our generation’s ignorance and distrust of agriculture and the part we are all required to play in it. These corporations are in a category all their own, and I need to digress before I get mad. Its the circllllllllllle, the circle...of life. You’re welcome! Now the song is stuck in your head too. While it is never pleasant to witness or facilitate death, it is an inescapable truth of the biological world, and proper management requires it. For instance, if we refuse to castrate and market male lambs every year, imagine the inbreeding, chaos, stress, damage, and disease that will ultimately cause horrible deaths of perfectly healthy ewes, and possibly eventual extinction of species! If death is required, might there be an honorable way to go? In the wild, death and disease will be more painful and brutal than we would ever allow an animal to suffer on the farm. Something inside us longs for an end to pain and death
Animals are not people. Honoring their lives and natural instincts means not making them all into pets, as sweet as that may sound. I am preaching to myself here, since I might prefer starvation to killing a sheep. Yeah, I'm totally hopeless. Death is at times gut-wrenching. I think a lot of us are naturally repulsed by blood and guts and gore...maybe we know internally that this was not life as God first intended it. I think something within all of us longs for a time when there will be no death or suffering. We long for perfection and redemption, and in futility we devise to accomplish it in our own way. The Bible tells us that all of creation groans in great anticipation of the day when everything sad becomes untrue. Romans 8:22 But until then my friends…we have to do the best we can with what we have in this broken world. Therefore... Know that you can enjoy a real meat burger without compromising your conscience, and in fact, you are advocating for and promoting your own wholistic health by partaking. Keep putting your money and time where your values lie. Practice discernment by taking every thought captive. Some of the worst things have been done with the best of intentions, lies are always sneaky. Always ask yourself why. Buy grass fed beef from your neighbor and support farmer’s markets. Encourage your friends to do the same. Grow a garden. Be a consumer of pasture milk and eggs. Get up close and personal with the natural world whenever the opportunity arises and ask the God who created it all for wisdom. He is so gracious and willing, friends. Dive into some permaculture skills and get your hands dirty. Train up the next generation of sane, balanced caretakers. Make it fun. And if you are already involved in agriculture, Don’t. Give. Up! ,WHAT AN EXCEPTIONAL YEAR.
Exceptionally crazy, that is! For me a year of "yeah, everything's cancelled" wasn't so bad. Social distance was mere inconvenience, and actually gave me a good excuse to support my local Mossyrock businesses instead of the regular digs in Chehalis and Olympia. I think I can count on two hands the number of times I left the immediate area. We scarcely go on vacations, except for a clam dig whenever they're on. (Which reminds me...I feel like Fish and Wildlife owes me a refund on the licenses I bought but didn't use since they cancelled them all. Crud muffins. Consider it a donation for a good cause?) My beloved Tumwater Farmer's Market had to quit the season, which was disappointing and sad. All of my soap making and felting classes at the Eastside Urban Farm and Garden and the Capital Mall were cancelled. It forced me to stay home and focus on my very lame web presence and the multiple exercises in flexibility on the farm this year. I miss people and fun events, like everyone else. But I didn't hoard and never ran out of toilet paper, so I have both a clean conscience and butt. Hooray! lol This month our pastor is encouraging us to fast and pray for the next year. Here's a just a smakerel (who knew, that word is actually only a Pooh Bear thing.) of what I've praying for!
Wow, what a year! I must admit, it has not been an easy one by any means! Uncertainty in all areas of life, both personal and on the worldly scene. One of my favorite radio personalities Todd Friel asked the question the other day "Where are YOU registering on the joy-o-meter this Christmas season, in comparison with others?" I had to agree with his thoughts that perhaps we were not designed to carry the weight of the world...and that the constant slew of negative news from a crazy number of platforms and from all over the world can be detrimental to our emotional and physical wellbeing and actually make us less effective, leave us feeling helpless and overwhelmed. And probably, we have enough burdens and heartache all our own. Its true, there has been a lot of heavy stuff going on this year and yeah, its important to be informed. But I've learned over the years that the more out of control things seem, the more clearly we will see God work. And that most of what I see in news stories are things that I have absolutely no ability to change or control in a real, tangible way. It's helped me to focus BIG on what I can change...my own heart, my own behavior, my own giving to ministries that affect our communities, and taking actual steps to better serve each and every precious human being I come in contact with. Especially my own family. When you know just how much you are loved, when you have been given such an incredible gift, how could you NOT pass it along! Our joy should be as hard to keep in as my husbands farts seem to be. (HAHA He's gonna kill me for that.)
Seriously though...it's hard even to fathom that the God of the universe humbled himself and came as a baby. Born in a stable. For ME. It leaves me in wonder and awe as we approach Christmas. No matter our circumstances, there is joy to be had and hope beyond measure! It has been a bit of a challenge to keep up with dryer ball orders lately. But I'm very thankful for the business! And thankful for great help from Sven. He's always there with a giant smile and a good attitude. :-)
I love this picture. But it really makes me cringe. Why? I see so much work and so many problems that need my attention. To you, most likely it just looks like a sweet photo of a father and daughter. To me, I see a pot of wilted dying flowers in the foreground and a nice crop of a terrible noxious weed that need many hours and years of pulling, spraying, and burning to eradicate. Sad but true, the farm we are caring for here in Mossyrock needs an incredible amount of TLC. It can be oh so stressful sometimes as we go about our busy days trying to pay equal attention to all the many things that are nearly crying for their lives!
This is me, remembering that all the things can't have my 100%. But that I can give 100% every day, in every area that I am able, and still enjoy the journey. Which things get what percent of our minutes each day will depend greatly on our abilities and priorities in each season of our lives, and that's SO OK. I guess for me, the fact that this picture perfectly shows how everything isn't perfect right now just means that we are real, human, and will always have many things to divide our attention between. And also, it would be easy to miss the most wonderful moments of our lives because...well...something isn't quite perfect in them. I love this picture, because I see a very busy father giving 100% to a little fluffhead who needs his attention more than she needs the weeds pulled, the flowers watered, or the grass mowed right now. My midwife was pretty awesome. It’s been more than three years ago now, but one of the things I learnt during that season of life stuck hard. She said that the more I try to control labor, the more painful it would be; but with a more relaxed state of mind and patiently allowing my body to work, less so. I’ve often contemplated this idea when a situation that at first wasn’t overly painful became more so with “more effort.” I’ve never struggled with hard work, for some reason it’s one of those things that comes easily to me. However, I do struggle with knowing when it’s time to quit...be it a plan, project, or human that really just needs me to walk away. It's like my suburban that needs an engine rebuild every 2 months. It's literally begging me to let it die in peace, but have I let it? NOPE! Knowing when to let go is hard, because...who wants to be a quitter!!!! I'm sure you know how HARD it can be to downsize, to walk away from something or someone, to pray, wait patiently, and let God lead. Downsizing and decreasing aren’t usually applauded in a culture where bigger is better and multiplication = success. We all think we need MORE of everything. And it is so easy to let the difficulty of a situation or endeavor that is clearly not working slow us down, or worse, debilitate us mentally, emotionally, or physically. Especially as moms, business owners, and farmers with very full plates! On a side note, it's funny how this blog was intended to showcase sheep milk soap, sheep, and regenerative farming, But I always seem to get sidetracked by the ethics of why we do what we do. Our worldview has a lot to do with how we operate here. One of my favorite quotes from Jim Elliot sums it up: He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose. Isn't that cool? Can you relate to this? Its so hard to understand why we do what we do unless you see the world from this perspective. If you are wondering what kind of a person would say that sort of a thing, Jim Elliot was a Christian missionary and martyr to the Waodani tribe in the jungles of Ecuador in the 1950's. And its pretty cool, we have special ties to this story since my husband's great uncle Don served on the team that recovered the bodies of the 5 missionaries who were tragically killed there. Uncle Don and his wife were also missionaries in Ecuador for many years, and he owned much of the property our family farms here in Washington today. You can read more about the incredible story HERE
Anyway, back to my original point. Labor still hurt like heck. But I like to think that the reason it was only 8 hours long instead of 20 was my good frame of mind, thanks to my lovely midwife. :-) Whew, July, where did you go? It feels a bit like nothing has happened, and yet everything has changed in the blink of an eye. We drilled for water and came up dry (literally) and the new (old) baler we bought for this year's hay harvest caught fire and is now being completely rebuilt. Small challenges, it seems, to the affairs of the world right now. But surely, disappointing! We hoped to have the farm ready to move in on this summer, but it looks like it will be another year at least. Usually, I am at peace with this, but I do struggle with the feeling that time is being wasted...wasted in trips back and fourth from home to farm and farm to home, wasted in loss of life and vegetable produce since we are not there 24/7 to "police" the sheep and keep them out of our garden (HAHAHA...SNIFFLE) or keep chickens safe from predators. Money wasted renting. Money wasted in burned fuel. Etc. Etc. It's hard, because the farm is where my heart is.
Or is it? Sometimes small scale farming can be a really difficult job to see any success in. Really long days, (like, 5:30 AM to 9:30 PM most days) and a lot of physically challenging work. As a family we love it, are good at it, and thrive on it. But I can also be very good at putting my nose to the grindstone and plugging along, trying to ignore little feelings of frustration with how little progress we seem to make with our little piece of heaven in the hills, until it all bubbles out in tears one day. But then, I am so thankful for God's gentle reminders that my heart is His...and therefore I would be remis to put my treasure and trust in two of the three English noun categories (you know, places and things, lol) As much as we may want or think we need something RIGHT NOW, it is humbling and comforting to be directed, and see doors open and shut. And I hope that with every new development, my heart will stay focused. I REALLY don't want to be remembered for my hard work, where I lived, how much, or how little I had. I want to be unmentionable, in that way. Because honestly, everything good has been given to me by a loving and caring Father. Not because I deserve it or earned it, but because He is so, so good, and loves to give his children good gifts in his perfect timing. Sometimes it's hard to understand why things happen the way they do, but in the end, I know there is a reason and a plan! Matt 6:19-21 Hi, I'm Lydia! And I'm really not sure why I am taking the time to write here...as time is rather limited these days! Mostly, this is going to be a space to share the overabundance of pictures from our little farm on the hill in the beautiful rural town of Mossyrock, WA. I think. But perhaps this will also be a place to share our journey...from our marriage in 2012, to the battle we fought with stage 4 cancer the same year, to the blessing of a beautiful, incredible Snowflake baby in 2017, to the acquisition of our beloved family farm in 2020. To put it lightly...it's been a WILD ride...and raising our chickens, cows, dairy sheep, and making lots of soap and dryer balls has definitely been part of my mental health plan, ha! (And for Richie, making lots of hay and driving his tractors!) It's been 8 years of leasing and renting, learning, striving, hard, hard work, and doing our absolute best to cherish each moment for what it is...a precious, precious gift. Perhaps this will be the only post I ever put here, because I'll get too busy and the novelty will have already worn off, lol. Our passion has always been for farming. I don't know why or how or what caused us both to be so "into" the land and growing things. One thing is certain though…through it all, God has been so faithful and so good, and his abundant love is overwhelming! Perhaps no one will even see these posts...and that's fine too. At least my Facebook friends won't have to put up with so many lamb pictures if I mostly put them here ;-) |
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HELLOI'm Lydia. Mom to one wild barefoot fluffy headed toddler, a herd of cows, flock of sheep, a group of too many chickens and a neglected garden that against all odds, survives. Married to a wonderful husband with an equal number of titles and jobs...Dad, bro, (also as in, "bro, get over here gimme a hug") hydro-electric power plant mechanic, volunteer firefighter, fixer of all things with wheels and engines. (Ya, I'm proud of him.) Farm life, family, coffee, and Jesus make my world go round. Archives
August 2023
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